fear unknown afraid

I see it every day. It’s always there.

I meet and speak to good people every day who wish things were different. They want to start their own business. They want to lose weight and get healthy. They want to move to another state for greater job opportunities. They want to get out there and meet someone special in their lives.

They want to do a lot of things and be a better version of themselves, but it doesn’t happen.


Because the number one emotion that has a stranglehold on their lives does not allow them to do what they really want to do.

What’s that emotion?



Look in the mirror. Is this you?

Why does fear play such an over sized role in the lives of so many people, and what can you do about it to overcome this limiting emotion?

Unfortunately, I can’t tell you why so many lives drown in fear. But, what I can tell you is that fear can actually be used to your advantage. Contrary to what we hear in the media or see in movies, fear does exist in everyone. We all have fear in our lives at one time or another. The point is not to allow fear to paralyze you.

As Susan Jeffers entitled her classic and best selling book: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

And, as I always say, it begins with your attitude and frame of mind. You have to have the strength and courage to acknowledge that the excuses of why you’re not doing something in your life are just that – excuses. And, when you accept that fact, you can then move to the next step of actually facing them.

Sure, life is such that sometimes things happen to you that are out of your control. You may get a disease you weren’t bargaining for, or you lose your job due to company downsizing and through no fault of your own. These things happen and, yes, make life tough. But, none of us escape our fate and what will happen.  You have more power than you think you do.

Look at yourself in the mirror and face the truths about your attitude and blaming of others. Yes, we all take blows in life that are sometimes harsh or even cruel and certainly unexpected. That’s what life is. You’re not owed a single thing in it and your days here are meant to make the best of whatever it is that is placed in your path. And, yes, every day is work – there are no breaks for those who want to live a full life. When you’re done finally accepting those truths, it’s time for a clean slate and a move to overcome fear.
There’s no magic to overcoming fear, but there are certainly steps you can take to make your life easier.

  1. Awareness – You can’t even begin to address fear in your life unless you are aware that it’s there and keeping you from your potential. Take an inventory of your life. Look at all of the excuses you’ve compiled for those things that are not going as you desire. Once you get past the things that happen in life, ask yourself what you’re doing to deal with it? Are you trying to address the challenges positively, proactively and persistently? To the great Vince Lombardi’s point, football – and life – is won in inches. The first inch in overcoming fear is being aware of it.
  1. Attitude – I can’t say it enough. Attitude is incredibly important. If you have a bad attitude, even if you don’t say a word, it flows out of you to everyone you come in touch with and everything you do. Your body language and your actions tell everyone your truth. There’s just no escaping it. You have to have a good attitude. And, when you have challenges in life, you have to double down and have the right attitude and frame of mind. It’s not easy to have a good and positive attitude, especially when the going gets tough. Again, think of it in inches (or in minutes). Maintain a positive and focused attitude for 15 minutes. And when you’ve gotten through those, get through the next 15 minutes. All you have to do is take it one step at a time and when you feel the negativity coming – shut it out.
  1. Presence – These days there’s a lot out there about mindfulness. Mindfulness simply means being present in the moment. Listen, there’s no secret to being present. Contrary to what you might see out there, there is no mysterious recipe. It’s simple, and again, it comes in inches and minutes. To overcome fear, you have to be present and aware of it. You also have to be present and aware of what you’re doing to overcome it. That means when you’re looking for another opportunity, you have to really focus and take all the distractions out of your mind.


To Susan Jeffers directive, feel the fear and do it anyway.


Wayne is the author of “Get Off the Couch: Grip & Rip and Break the Barriers Holding You Back in Life” (Free Digital Download)

© 2016 Wayne Elsey and Not Your Father’s Charity. All Rights Reserved.